let's get this ball rolling...

I have a few good stories saved up in my noggin for safe keeping, so why not get this ball rolling and tell a few? First of all, a few facts about this blog. 1. these are true events. 2. the names of the people in these stories are not their real names, to protect them (the internet's a scary place kids). So, I am Mom, my husband is D. I have 3 kiddos. A daughter who is 11, we'll call her "L", a daughter who is 4, we'll call her "R", and a son who is 1, we'll call him "T". And my dog, Gizmo, or "the Giz". Ok...so let's start our story.
I do not enjoy grocery shopping. By the time I am finished, I feel like running out of market screaming. My kids usually don't love it either. My typical visit includes T wanting to sit in the big basket part of the cart. I guess he's decided the little seat is for babies. So, he has to sit down there. If I even attempt to put him in the seat, he bends his knees and curls his feet (screaming mind you) making it impossible to stick him in there. Now the REAL problem with this is that everytime the cart stops, he has to stand up.And not only stand, oh no, because that would be boring. No, we have to push limits here people!! No, he stands and jumps, or tries to sit on the rim of the cart. Fun! All while I'm trying to decide what brand of what food is cheapest this week. The there's R. She's glad that T picks the basket at the back of the cart, because she LIKES the seat. Here's why. She likes to do what we call "busting"....kind of like pelvic grinding if you will. Why she does it I don't know. I have looked it up, and it is a normal thing. But the girl has to do it. The whole grocery shopping trip!! Even when people are talking to her. I always have to say "R, scootch your butt back","R stop busting right now"...oh the threats fly, but nothing works. OK, so you have the idea. So this particular trip has all the same happenings as usual. I am trying to get done and out of there before anyone melts down. I get everything I needed, except my strawberries, I got them last (they were a last minute thing). I go to check out and start to load things onto the belt. I hear R say "Oh No Mommy, T is eating the strawberries!!". What!? I look down to see one carton open and T eating a strawberry. How many has he eaten, I don't know?? I know enough thjat there is strawberry goop and juice all over the OTHER groceries! Then R says "Oh no, he's going to eat the GREEN PART!" R knows never to eat the green part. But at this moment I let him. He could have eaten others just moments before. And really, I was more concerned about the fact that they weren't clean! So, I laugh and tell the cashier ( a little old woman) "Sorry, my son couldn't wait to eat the strawberries apparently, and there is strawberry stuff all over the other groceries. So if you touch anything slimy, it's just strawberries" (I have had other cashiers be so grossed out by touching something T had in his mouth....one even sanitized her hands right in front of me!). So, then I keep putting groceries on the belt to discover that T had at one point stood up and sat down right on my hamburger and hot dog rolls! I had to laugh and laugh. What else can you do? It's funny, if you remove yourself and don't get mad. It's funny!
I hate grocery shopping...hate it!