clogged VCR, and cheese sticks and butts

Today I went to put my son's beloved Teletubbies VHS tape in our VCR player, when it just wouldn't go in. "Oh great" I thought, "he jammed something in there!". So I looked in, couldn't see anything that looked suspicious. I grabbed a flashlight for a closer look, and there it was! One of my little dog's greenie bones lodged in the VCR! Ugh! So, I pulled it out and all was good in Teletubby land once again.
So, then I am upstairs in the bathroom when they both come up. It's "that time of the month" again and as I am doing my thing, Gillian says "Mom, why are you putting that cheese stick up your butt?" LOL....that was fun to explain....

I swear I didn't know she was sick!

We went to a friends house today. We had been sick with colds, but I THOUGHT we were over it! The kids had a good time. T had to explore the entire house. Up the stairs, down the stairs, up the stairs, down the stairs. And they wonder why I am so thin!!?? Well, R has to go pee. It was so funny because her friend was a little guy...little guys don't know you don't stand to go pee. He was showing her how to hold up the whole seat! LOL. So, we go pee and then T needs to sit on the potty (but doesn't go). We go to wash our hands and R says her hands hurt. ??? OK??? Then her foot hurts. Now she's crying that her whole body hurts. I feel her head (cause my kids always hurt and cry a lot when they have....you guessed it FEVERS!). I felt so bad/embarressed that she had a fever (of 101). I had to leave. I hate it when other people get MY KIDS sick...I never want to do that to another parent. (note to Wicket's Mommy, Sorry again, and I wouldn't have done it on purpose). Had to go to the store to get some medicine and food for the weekend. Got donuts for a treat for tomorrow. T thinks donts look good, and opens the box. THANKFULLY this time I caught him (oh I could only imagine if I didn't). I had to ask for a cookie to distract him from the donuts. Got home and R melted onto the couch. Watching Scooby Doo. Gave T a plate of watermelon and some cheese. He dumped the watermelon (twice I might add) and threw half the cheese at the dog. T sometimes won't eat his food, unless it's dumped on the floor first. Seriously. One time I was at a mommy and me playgroup. We did an Easter egg hunt and there was one egg left on the floor that no one got. Another boy opened it and out spilled jelly beans. T runs over and starts eating them off the floor. The grandparent of the child says "um, someone's child is eating off the floor"...I was right there. I said "yeah I know. I can't always stop him, he'll be fine he's eaten worse" (like banana peels straight from the trash can, dog biscuits, petting zoo crackers....oh and before I put hand sanitizer on his hands and he put it in his mouth...I think it tasted real bad by the look on his face!).
Now we are home. Things are calm.....for now.....

poo Dada

T and R sleep with me. my husband did at one point too, but is temporarily sleeping in an aerobed next to our bed, Until we get R into the bed. So, every morning is the same thing. T wakes up and needs to take his diaper off. He's sort of potty training, and doesn't like his diapies on when they are wet. I say 'don't go pee pees in bed, only in the potty". He knows...usually. So when D (my husband) is home, he likes to go cuddle with him for a couple minutes too. This particular morning T gets up and cuddles with D. Then, as usual, gets up and explores the room. I say "do you have to go pee pees?" T says "Nah"...ok then...
next thing I know, D yells "oh no! He pooped on my bed!!" I look down and sure enough, not only did he poop, but he walked in it too! I whip T up and put him in the shower rinsing off the pooh. I get him out of the shower and as I'm drying him off he says "poo, Dada" about 3 times in a row, giggling! He was just cracking himself up that he pooped on his Dada!

let's get this ball rolling...

I have a few good stories saved up in my noggin for safe keeping, so why not get this ball rolling and tell a few? First of all, a few facts about this blog. 1. these are true events. 2. the names of the people in these stories are not their real names, to protect them (the internet's a scary place kids). So, I am Mom, my husband is D. I have 3 kiddos. A daughter who is 11, we'll call her "L", a daughter who is 4, we'll call her "R", and a son who is 1, we'll call him "T". And my dog, Gizmo, or "the Giz". Ok...so let's start our story.
I do not enjoy grocery shopping. By the time I am finished, I feel like running out of market screaming. My kids usually don't love it either. My typical visit includes T wanting to sit in the big basket part of the cart. I guess he's decided the little seat is for babies. So, he has to sit down there. If I even attempt to put him in the seat, he bends his knees and curls his feet (screaming mind you) making it impossible to stick him in there. Now the REAL problem with this is that everytime the cart stops, he has to stand up.And not only stand, oh no, because that would be boring. No, we have to push limits here people!! No, he stands and jumps, or tries to sit on the rim of the cart. Fun! All while I'm trying to decide what brand of what food is cheapest this week. The there's R. She's glad that T picks the basket at the back of the cart, because she LIKES the seat. Here's why. She likes to do what we call "busting"....kind of like pelvic grinding if you will. Why she does it I don't know. I have looked it up, and it is a normal thing. But the girl has to do it. The whole grocery shopping trip!! Even when people are talking to her. I always have to say "R, scootch your butt back","R stop busting right now"...oh the threats fly, but nothing works. OK, so you have the idea. So this particular trip has all the same happenings as usual. I am trying to get done and out of there before anyone melts down. I get everything I needed, except my strawberries, I got them last (they were a last minute thing). I go to check out and start to load things onto the belt. I hear R say "Oh No Mommy, T is eating the strawberries!!". What!? I look down to see one carton open and T eating a strawberry. How many has he eaten, I don't know?? I know enough thjat there is strawberry goop and juice all over the OTHER groceries! Then R says "Oh no, he's going to eat the GREEN PART!" R knows never to eat the green part. But at this moment I let him. He could have eaten others just moments before. And really, I was more concerned about the fact that they weren't clean! So, I laugh and tell the cashier ( a little old woman) "Sorry, my son couldn't wait to eat the strawberries apparently, and there is strawberry stuff all over the other groceries. So if you touch anything slimy, it's just strawberries" (I have had other cashiers be so grossed out by touching something T had in his mouth....one even sanitized her hands right in front of me!). So, then I keep putting groceries on the belt to discover that T had at one point stood up and sat down right on my hamburger and hot dog rolls! I had to laugh and laugh. What else can you do? It's funny, if you remove yourself and don't get mad. It's funny!
I hate grocery shopping...hate it!

why did I get a long haired dog??

So, my little dog Gizmo has long hair. Why we thought this would be a good idea, I'm not sure. Sometimes when it gets too long in the back, poop gets stuck in his fur. So the other night he's outside and when we go to call him he doesn't want to come in. This is not like him...he's not an outside kinda dog. Finally when we DO get him in, he hides under the table quickly. When he finally comes around we noticed that he has poop, once again, stuck on his butt. Ugh...gotta go get the scissors and cut it off. Bleck. My husband holds him, while I cut the poop out. It stinks. As I'm pulling his tail up, Gizmo lets one rip...right in my face! It actually sounded like a person fart! LOL!! We laughed so hard we were crying. After I am done that grueling chore, I go to wash my hands, and what do I find in the kitchen, but the REST of the poop that had fallen off of his butt, laying in the middle of the floor. I thought I would die! For once I was actually glad my nose was stuffed up from having a cold! Why did I want a long haired dog again???